Could we move any slower?

Last week was kind of a “slow starter” sort of week. Not every day, or every part of every day, but as I look back on the week, that certainly characterizes the week.  What do I mean?  Well, most mornings it was hard to get up and start the day.  I did not feel unwell, but I did not feel “right” either.  My early morning prayer time seemed more like a time of trying to quiet the noise in my head than a time of listening for the presence of God.  Sitting down to whatever tasks of the day seemed like navigating through a sea of molasses.  And there were some “tasks” that did not get done – like the writing of these reflections.

So here I am, at the start of a new week with some new energy and renewed direction.  This time of “stay at home” orders and living daily with the reality of COVID-19 is unlike any we have ever experienced. For many of us, our usual coping mechanisms aren’t quite up to the task.  And the stressors are new and different too, so moving through this time requires new approaches and perspectives.

First of all, as people of faith, we do believe in something bigger than ourselves and even bigger than this virus.  But believing and living from that place of faith is perhaps a bit more challenging now.  How is your prayer time?  What concerns, joys, challenges and questions do you bring to prayer? Where do you sense the presence of God?  I find that I am looking more within myself for the movements of God.  I have more time for reflection, and I have more questions, so taking this time is crucial to my ability to stay centered and anchored in God. And yet, when a week like the last one arrives, even this is hard to do.

Secondly, the way I experienced important relationships in my life has been dramatically altered.  I miss seeing friends face to face, having lunch with my Mom and just popping in to see friends and family.  On the other hand, I am now home so much more and rediscovering those with whom I live.  I am learning to be quiet and listen to a whole story rather than jump in to comment or solve and I am learning what is most important about the life we share.  The book title “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” has new meaning at this time.

Thirdly, I am stretching to be more patient with myself and others.  If certain tasks don’t get done in the time I think it should take, I am taking a deep breath and trying to let it go.  If I psychically need more sleep or time alone, I am working at giving myself permission to do just that.  Processing all that is happening within and around us takes so much energy and that needs to be replenished or we will surely become empty. 

I believe God is what fills us, ultimately.  Some times it is just harder than others to know that with all my being.  And so, I am working at giving myself permission to let each day be enough.  I am praying to notice the subtle signs of the resurrection and the presence of God. I am also trying hard to be more forgiving of myself and others when we don’t seem to “measure up” the way I think we should.  This can be a time for God to teach me how to be gentler, more aware and less judgmental.  This is my prayer for myself and others.  What are you learning?  What is different about this time for you? How do you recognize the presence of the Risen One in 2020?